


Crush

by puss_nd_boots



Category: Alice Nine, the GazettE
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-31
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-27 16:15:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1716824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puss_nd_boots/pseuds/puss_nd_boots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shou's had a crush on Ruki since he started at PSC - so he's more than a little intrigued when the other vocalist invites him over for the afternoon. But what is Ruki's true motive?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crush

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2011 under another LJ name I briefly used.

Shou climbed up the subway stairs into the sunlight. He was not yet at the career stage where he could afford his own car, not yet recognizable enough where he couldn't ride the train without being disturbed. Oh, Alice Nine were well on their way, after several EPs and singles - and they'd just started working on their very first full-length album. But they were nowhere near the heights of other acts.

Nothing like, for instance, the man he was going to see right now.

He pulled the piece of paper out of his pocket, checking the instructions he'd been given over the phone again. When Ruki had called him up, inviting him to come over for the afternoon - "I'd like to show you a few things you might want to try, you know, with your hair and makeup" - his heart had skipped a beat. No, make that several beats.

It was his personal best-kept secret that he'd had a severe crush on his sempai ever since Alice Nine had come to PSC.

He still remembered when they'd been taken to see GazettE perform by their brand-new managers, being told that they were the company's most popular act (well, other than Miyavi), that they were the ones that were going to be showing Alice Nine the ropes of the business.

There was the dark live house, overpacked with overdressed girls, smelling of sweat and perfume and Ramune soda (for some strange reason). And then, the spotlights hitting the stage, the five musicians coming out, the roar of their relentless brand of rock and roll . . . but for the next hour or so, Shou couldn't take his eyes off the figure at the center of the stage.

Ruki was mesmerizing. Energetic, charismatic, his voice a soft whisper one moment, a ferocious roar the next. He seemed to be the very physical embodiment of "Gazerock."

Oh, and unrelentingly sexy. His whole performance was infused with sex. Shou watched him kiss and stroke his bandmates, lick everything in sight, move his hips to the music seductively. He was making love to every single person in that live house, and they were giving it right back to him, screaming and dancing and headbanging and calling out his name.

He was the epitome of everything Shou wanted to be.

Shou felt like he was progressing . . . but he wasn't there yet. There was something holding him back. He was trying to live the music, to embody it, to _become_ the tunes that Tora and Saga and Hiroto were writing. And yet . . . he couldn't.

He rounded a corner, looking up and around him at the buildings. The one Ruki lived in was across the street. He still wondered why he'd been summoned here. Ruki had acted as his sempai, to be sure - the two had talked plenty of times, had developed a good rapport, had even gone out drinking once or twice - usually with other band members with them.

Now, he was asking him here to give him advice . . . Maybe Ruki was finally going to divulge his secrets, tell him what made him, well, Ruki.

Shou headed toward the building, his heart in his mouth.

* * *  
Ruki sat in his living room, checking his phone for messages. His visitor would be here any moment, if he was the punctual type. If Ruki's impressions of him were correct, he was sure that he was.

He'd laid out a few makeup items in the bedroom - he wasn't kidding when he said he wanted to show him some ways to improve his look. But he had other reasons for asking him here - reasons that had come to mind when he'd attended their most recent live, and heard they were going to be doing an album.

He was Shou's sempai and mentor, after all, appointed by both PSC and himself. He had a vested interest in his professional development.

The knock came on his door, and he got up to answer it. Sure enough, there was Shou, a bit breathless and flushed, wearing artistically ripped jeans and a button-down black shirt with silver trim. Casual wear for the J-rocker on the go.

And damn, he was beautiful, even without a pile of makeup. More beautiful than he gave himself credit for.

"Come in," Ruki said, stepping aside. He watched with amusement as the other vocalist bowed politely and thanked him (reallly, the boy had more manners than a businessperson, let alone a rock musician), then entered the living room.

"Nice place," Shou said, looking around him. It wasn't huge, but it was furnished in a tasteful, yet funky style - unlike the cramped space he was living in, which barely had room for furniture, period. So this was what life was like when you'd been recording professionally for a few years. Would he ever get to this point, he wondered?

"Thanks," Ruki said. "I can tell by the way you're staring."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Shou bowed again, flushing a little. Ruki had to chuckle at that. Shou really was cute, truly cute, without any air of pretension about him at all. "It's just, well . . . I don't get to see places like this all that often."

"The life of a newbie to the label?" He dropped his hand on Shou's shoulder. "I've been there, I know. We worked the indies circuit for a long time before we got signed. It was a fucking nightmare. Working constantly in the shittiest live houses in the country, holding down a part-time job when you weren't rehearsing . . ."

"I know," Shou said. "I did that with Lost Age, and Givuss. For far, far too long." It wasn't a fun period in his life. He would have done anything to have made it back then - well, almost anything. He knew some guys who'd gone as far as to prostitute themselves to rich women to finance their bands. Shou definitely drew the line there.

"Well, you're never going back there again," Ruki said. "You've got real talent, you know that?" That hand hadn't moved from Shou's shoulder. Both of them were very much aware it was there - in fact, Shou was staring at it like it was a particularly large bug that had landed there - if particularly large bugs were attached to incredibly sexy men.

"I know," Shou said. "But sometimes, I think . . ." He stopped, not quite knowing how to continue. How was he going to put his feelings in words, the vague sense that something was missing, in front of this man?

"Think what?" Ruki tilted his head a little, looking at Shou quizzically. Was he about to admit what Ruki had suspected about him all along?

"That it's not quite there yet," Shou said. "That I'm looking for something, and I don't know what it is. That if I find it, everything will fall into place, and I'll be as good a performer as . . ." He caught himself before he could say "you." He didn't want Ruki to know about the crush on him, oh, no. "As some people who have been in the business for years."

Ruki caught that pause. Had Shou been about to say as good a performer as him? He'd have been flattered if he did, but it wouldn't have been unexpected. He'd seen how Shou had been after watching Ruki perform, especially at the 2005 Peace and Smile Carnival - awestruck, blushing, shy around Ruki.

"You have a lot of the elements already," he said. "You have good people in the band with you. You have some great songs."

"I know," Shou said. "But sometimes I wonder about . . . about me. About how I look up there, and what people are seeing. About whether I'm putting out what they want to see." About whether I'm sexy, he thought, but he didn't say it out loud.

Ruki squeezed his shoulder again. "Shou, there isn't a performer in the history of the business who hasn't thought that at one time or another. Especially vocalists. We have the toughest job of anyone on that stage, We're the face of the band - we're the primary thing that people are looking at." And this proved that a lot of his suspicions about Shou were correct. Ruki had been told he had excellent intuition, after all.

"That's what I mean," Shou said. "I want to be worthy of the attention. I want to be, well . . . a real star." He looked down, blushing. Great, he'd revealed too much of himself to his hero, his mentor, his idol, his crush. He'd just wanted to find out how Ruki did what he did, not pour our his own insecurities.

"Come on," Ruki said. "Maybe we can get a little closer to what you're looking for by working on how you look. You're concerned about what the audience sees when you're on stage, right?"

Shou nodded - and then nearly gasped when Ruki took his hand and started tugging him down the hall. Toward an open door that revealed a bed. Yes, he was being taken to Ruki's bedroom. "Where are we going?"

"Where the mirror is, of course," Ruki said. "Did you think I was going to take pictures so you could look at yourself?"

"Oh - oh, yeah, the mirror," Shou said. Mirror, of course. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who was the dorkiest one of all? At the moment, Shou felt that it was him.

Well, he'd come here so Ruki could change that, right? Or was that really why he'd come here?

* * *  
Men who are in visual kei learn very quickly about the elements that go into crafting an appearance. When you're in an indie band, after all, there are no professional stylists to help you out. You have to do your own hair, your own makeup, pick out your own jewelry (usually from the cheapest shops around), even do your own hair coloring. You developed an eye for these things, or you were out of the business pretty damn fast.

Ruki felt he had developed a pretty sharp eye. He'd crafted not only his own appearence, but helped out some of those around them. He'd gotten a sense of what worked and what didn't.

In Shou's case, there were a lot of "didn'ts" at the moment. He'd already convinced him to lose the piercing below his lip. "It does nothing for you. All it's doing is pulling attention away from your eyes, and you have pretty eyes." He was currently showing him how to make up said eyes, with just a little liner and mascara.

"See, you don't need a hell of a lot of powder," he said. "I've seen you that way before, and it just buries your eyes, it doesn't accent them."

Shou frowned a little. "You wear a lot of powder," he said.

"That's because out eyes are shaped differently. See?" He turned Shou toward the mirror, and put his face next to the other man's. "Yours are a lot wider than mine. You're a great candidate for blue or purple contacts - they'd show up really well on you and look good with your coloring."

Shou looked at their two faces close together. It was almost like they were posing for a picture together in one of those silly print club booths that teenagers liked. Like they were here together on a date.

And he was going to put that thought out of his head right away, wasn't he?

"Okay, your hair next," Ruki said. "It's too, well, pouffy. You'd probably look better with it flatter. Like this . .. ." And he picked up a brush - specially purchased from a 100-yen store for the occasion - and began to work on brushing Shou's hair down.

He's touching my hair, Shou thought. Of course, it was necessary to brush it, wasn't it? But was it is imagination, or were Ruki's hands lingering on his hair just a bit longer than they had to? No, no, that was wishful thinking, wasn't it?

As if to distract himself, he said out loud, "I watched your band on televison the other night." GazettE had been on one of those myriad of shows that record companies shoved their bands onto on a regular basis to promote their latest single, or just to keep them in the public eye when they had nothing in particular to promote. In the notoriously fickle Japanese music industry, loss of visibility for any length of time, for any reason, could be fatal.

"Oh?" Ruki said, continuing his work on Shou's hair. "What did you think?"

"Amazing, as always," Shou said. "I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like you before." He suddenly realized what he said, and quickly hoped Ruki would take it as a collective "you," not a singular one - even though that's how he meant it. Well, sort of.

"You guys are pretty incredible too, you know. Your last live? I was impressed. Really impressed." He put the brush down and smoothed Shou's bangs into shape, draping them just so across half his forehead. "I had a friend with me - not a musician - and she was impressed, too."

A date. It figured. Shou tried very, very hard not to feel jealous. "Really?" he said.

"She thought you were adorable," Ruki said. "Adorable, and sexy." He dropped his hands from Shou's head down to his shoulders. "She said she'd love to take you home."

"You're kidding!" Shou suddenly whirled around toward Ruki, but didn't break the contact.

"Do you think I'd kid about something like that?" Ruki's hands were on Shou's head again, fussing with his bangs. "And do you know what I said back to her?"

"N-no." Shou's eyes were fastened to the mirror. He could see Ruki behind him, hands on his hair again - but now, it seemed he was less arranging it, more stroking it, caressing it. Suddenly, Shou could feel a strange warmth in the pit of his stomach. Was he imagining what Ruki was doing, reading into it what he wanted?

"I told her . . ." He suddenly put his fingertips under Shou's chin, gently turning his head so that he was looking into the other man's eyes. "That she had excellent taste."

"Ruki . . ." Oh, God, was Shou hearing this? Did Ruki just say . . . was he looking at him like . . . was he really sitting in a chair in his bedroom, in his BEDROOM, with Ruki slowly leaning down toward him, and Shou slowly stretching upward toward him . . .

And before he knew it, they'd closed the gap between them and were kissing. The sensation ran through Shou's senses like an electric current, making him gasp, his lips opening - which just served as an open invitation for Ruki to plunder, his tongue pushing into the other vocalist's mouth.

It was unreal for Shou. Surreal. Here was Ruki, the fantasy, with his tongue sliding against Shou's, and his hands reaching down to unfasten the buttons on Shou's shirt, and his teeth lightly grazing Shou's neck when the kiss broke at last.

Shou tipped his head back, breathing heavily, eyes closed. Oh, my God, this was happening, this was really happening. He felt the shirt sliding down his arms and heard his own zipper being yanked down, loud as thunder. Or maybe the thunder was the sound of his own heartbeat roaring in his ears. It didn't matter. It was all the same right now, all melting into one.

There was a sudden loss of body heat, and Shou opened his eyes. Ruki was standing up, unfastening his own shirt - slowly, deliberately, putting on a show. Not quite a striptease, but definitely meant to demonstrate how sexy he was.

Shou could only sit, and watch, still panting, his eyes roaming all over the other man's body. He was as beautiful up close, in this small, confined space of bedroom, as he was up on the stage, the spotlights hitting him from every angle, in complete command of the audience spread out before him. Except now, he wasn't making love to the audience. He was only making love to . . .

He felt hands grab his. He felt them guided upward, to Ruki's now-unfastened shirt, and he pushed on the fabric, sliding it down and off . . . and then, suddenly, Shou was inspired to make a bold move. He stood up, stripping off his own pants and underwear, and then dropped to his knees, unfastening the smaller man's pants.

Shou heard Ruki's gasp of surprise (good, he'd done something to impress him) as he pushed the garment down. The fact that there were rather plain briefs beneath - he'd expected his crush to wear black silk boxers - was unexpected, but in a good way - there was something rather charming about it.

Not that it mattered. They were going quickly. Shou yanked the garments down, and was presented with the sight of something larger than he was expecting for a man of Ruki's height (or lack thereof). He was far beyond thinking and analysis now, though. He had only one goal in mind regarding that thing.

Shou touched his lips to the shaft, feeling the heat, the not-quite-smooth texture. It was hardening. His tongue flicked out, lightly touching the skin. A loud moan was his reward.

Oh, he'd dreamed of hearing that moan ever since he first heard him singing and screaming on that stage. He wanted to hear more of it. The lips began to form kisses, moving slowly along Ruki's length, his tongue brushing lightly against it from time to time.

It was more wild and uninhibited than Shou could ever remember feeling with a lover. He had nothing to lose and everything he'd ever wanted to gain at this point.

Ruki could only lean his head back, moaning as the other vocalist worked him, now running his tongue slowly from the bottom to the top of his cock, opening his eyes and looking up at him teasingly. He hadn't expected this. He'd expected to do a lot more teasing, a lot more coaxing, to get Shou this loose. He was more experienced than Ruki thought he was.

The fact that all that outward sweet innocence just concealed sexual heat of this intensity just make him all the hotter.

When Shou wrapped his lips around the head of Ruki's now-erect cock and started to suck - and, dear Lord, he was good at this, knowing instinctively how much pressure to apply, where to dart his tongue - Ruki knew he couldn't let his go on very long, or he was going to come in the other vocalist's mouth and ruin everything. The only problem was, Shou had him so nuts with passion right now that he couldn't even form words, just moans.

He reached down, grabbed Shou's upper arms and pulled upward, hoping Shou would get the message. Shou raised his head, his eyes glassy with desire, his lips moist from his efforts.

"Did I do something wrong?" he said. All sweet innocence again. The contrast was enough to drive a man insane. God, if he could harness this in his public persona, he'd drive fangirls even more mad with lust than he already did.

"On the bed," Ruki said, his voice hoarse. "On your stomach."

From the look and sound of him, Shou definitely didn't do something wrong. My God, he thought, I did that? He suddenly found himself swelling with pride - he'd given back some of the pleasure Ruki had given him from the stage, made him feel as hot as Ruki made him feel.

He scrambled to the bed, lying face-down as Ruki asked, pulling his knees up to point his lovely ass toward his new lover - because that was what Ruki probably wanted, right?

Oh, it was what he wanted - but not for what Shou thought, not right away. If Shou was going to make him moan and feel like his body was going to catch on fire, the least Ruki could do was return the favor. Only in a not-quite-expected way.

He opened his bedside drawer, grabbing for a few of the items within. The bottle of lube, of course, was the first thing. The second one, though, might raise eyebrows of anyone witnessing the scene - a roll of plastic wrap.

Shou felt liquid lube being poured into the cleft of his ass, and his spread his legs, moaning a little, expecting to feel fingers penetrating him next. What he felt, though, was something being . . . smoothed against him? What was it? It felt like . . . a plastic bag? No, Saran wrap. What the hell?

Shou turned his head, seeing the other vocalist kneeling behind him. "Ruki?" he said, quizzically.

"Sssh," his new lover said. "You'll see."

Shou turned his head back around, closing his eyes. What was going to happen? This was not something he'd experienced before - not something he'd thought about. What did Ruki have in mind?

Ruki spread the cheeks of Shou's ass apart, gently, and leaned over, touching his tongue to the little puckered opening through the plastic. He began to move it back and forth, gently stroking the opening, then pushed in, slowly, the plastic moving with him.

The Saran wrap created a dental dam, allowing Ruki to pleasure Shou cleanly and safely. The lube allowed him to push in easily - which is what he was doing now, feeling the tight channel grip his tongue. He just wiggled it around, as if in reply - all the more to make Shou moan.

Shou didn't quite know what was happening when something soft, yet strong pushed into him. Was he penetrating him with some sort of . . . And then, it dawned on him. Oh, my God, it was his TONGUE. He remembered seeing Ruki licking the microphone, licking his fingers, licking Uruha's guitar . . .

And now that tongue was inside him, penetrating him, wiggling around and dancing within him. He felt the warm softness slide in, tease him, rubbing against sensitive spots that made him moan and shudder. "Oh!" Shou cried. "Ruki . . . Ruki . . ."

Ruki's lips formed a smile, despite the fact his tongue was very busy at the moment - pulling almost entirely out of Shou, swirling around his entrance, thrusting in and out quickly a few times, going just a little way in . . . and then pushing in slowly, as deeply as the plastic would allow, wiggling his tongue around a little more.

Shou was moaning loudly now, his face pressed into the pillow, his hands gripping the bedding in his fists. This was wild, and unreal, and so, so very naughty and dirty. It was so forbidden it was something he'd never dared fantasize about before - but he sure as hell would now.

"More," he cried, and Ruki responded, gripping Shou's hips in his hands and suddenly fucking him fast and hard and deep with his tongue, thrusting in hard like a soft, hot piston, hearing Shou cry out with every push into his body. The taller man's hips were thrusting back against him, and Ruki met the rhythm, giving him penetration as fast and hard as he wanted it.

All this was making Ruki's cock ache even more than when Shou was licking and sucking him. He had to have him. Slowly, reluctantly, he pulled his tongue away.

Shou gasped when he felt the loss of warmth, then the plastic pulled away from his ass. "Ruki . . ." he said.

"You want me to fuck you, don't you?" Ruki's fingers were shaking as he coated them with lube. Shou had been loosened up enough with his tongue that he could go to two fingers right away, and when he pushed them in, Shou moaned again.

"Yes," he murmured. Oh, God, the rimming had left him so over-senstiive that the fingers moving inside him sent off little shivers everywhere. As Ruki pushed them in and out, Shou moved his hips back again, letting out another moan when the third finger entered him.

Finally, Ruki pulled the fingers out, and he pulled on a condom and slicked himself as quickly as he could. "Turn over," he said. "I want to see you." Shou flipped onto his back, holding his arms out to the other man, raising and spreading his legs.

Ruki settled atop him, and the two men kissed hungrily, Shou moaning as the same tongue that had just been pleasuring him pushed into his mouth - completely safe and sanitary, thanks to the plastic. He felt the hardness pressing against him, and he braced himself for the pain that was going to come.

Not that he minded it, since he knew that unbelievable pleasure was going to follow.

Ruki pushed into Shou slowly, feeling the heat envelop him - dear God, he was tight as a virgin, even though he wasn't one. "Mmm," he said, careful to watch the older man's face for any sign of pain. Shou didn't seem too uncomfortable, though he was clinging to Ruki a bit too tightly.

So Ruki paused, once he was sheathed, and the room was full of the heavy breathing of both men. "Ready?" he said.

Shou nodded, and Ruki began to thrust, slowly. There was still a bit of pain . . . but the more Ruki moved, the more it dissolved. In fact, it was mixing with pleasure, then more pleasure, then . . .

"Ooohh, yes," Shou moaned as a wave of luscious sensation spread from his ass through his whole body. Ruki took that as his cue. He started to move faster, harder, pushing into that delicious heat that clenched around him and gripped him. God, he was so gorgeous, and such an amazing fuck, throwing himself into the act entirely, rocking his body upward against Ruki's thrusts, hands running up and down his back.

Ruki had a sudden inspiration. Grabbing hold of Shou tightly, he rolled both of them over so Shou was on the top, not breaking the contact or the penetration. "Ride me," he told his new lover.

Shou was surprised when he was flipped over - but as soon as he heard what Ruki wanted, he felt a fresh thrill run through his body. He pushed himself up until he was literally sitting on Ruki's erection, moaning at the change in angle, and began to pump his hips, fucking himself on the other man, in control of his own pleasure.

Ruki lay beneath him, looking up at the beauty sitting astride him, so wild and passionate, his eyes tightly closed and his moist lips parted, tongue darting out to lick them. He looked like an angel and a whore at the same time.

"Touch yourself," Ruki moaned as he moved beneath the other man, thrusting upward into that tightness that kept gripping him, caressing him. Oh, yes, he wanted to see that, wanted Shou to complete the erotic visual.

Shou didn't hesitate. He gripped his own cock, starting to stroke the length as he thrust faster, changing the angle of his hips a little, trying to get more stimulation on his prostate - but not too much. That would make him explode, and he didn't want to do that. Oh, no, not yet.

He looked down through hazy eyes at Ruki, devouring him with his gaze, and he moved his hand faster, moaning, wanting to put on more of a show, to pleasure him with visuals, to put on the ultimate performance.

He was pleasuring him, all right. Ruki moved beneath Shou, thinking he was the hottest goddamn thing he'd ever seen in his life. The more he looked at those fingers moving on that cock, the precome running over them, that beautiful face contorted with passion . . . and if he moaned like that one more time, the sound alone was going to make Ruki come.

He reached out and placed his hand over Shou's, and Shou let go, letting Ruki take over stroking his cock, bracing his own hands on the bed and concentrating on thrusting his hips hard and fast, changing the angle again and again . . .

And then, Shou felt a direct hit to his prostate, and stars exploded behind his vision. His body was suddenly engulfed in white-hot pleasure so overwhelming he thought he'd explode from it, and he nearly screamed as he leaned back, shuddering, the come pouring from him all over Ruki's fingers.

As soon as that tight channel clenched around him, Ruki felt the last of his control break, and he arched up into Shou, crying out loudly as he felt the orgasm engulf him, riding it out until he finally fell limp to the bed, Shou collapsing atop him.

The air was filled with heavy, ragged breathing as the two men kissed, softly this time. Shou snuggled his face into the juncture of Ruki's neck and shoulder, and Ruki reached up with the hand that wasn't covered with Shou's essence to stroke his hair.

It was a very long moment before they moved, Shou rolling away just long enough for Ruki to deal with the condom, then reaching for the package of baby wipes on his bedside to get them both cleaned up. When that was done, they snuggled together again, Shou thinking he didn't want this moment ever to end.

He wondered if playing Bukodan would feel as blissful as this.

Ruki ran his fingers over Shou's hair again - full-circle, since it was the hair-stroking that had started this. "Are you okay?" he said. Shou had been awfully quiet since he came, after all.

Shou took a deep breath, closing his eyes. "Yeah. Just a little . . . overwhelmed. That was . . ."

"Fantastic?" Ruki said, raising his head and looking at him.

"Unexpected," Shou said. Then, after a pause - "And fantastic."

"I should have had a camera on you," Ruki said. "You could have seen how fucking gorgeous you are when you're in the middle of sex." He kissed his cheek. "But you're fucking gorgeous, anyway." He touched his face with gentle fingers. "And Shou? I want you to remember that. Remember this . . . what happened today."

Shou looked confused. "Why? Does this mean that we're . . ." He had been so overwhelmed by the sex itself that he didn't even consider the possibility that their lovemaking today might be the start of something, well, bigger, but now the possibility was staring him in the face. Could he handle this all the time?

Ruki leaned his head against Shou's. "You're my friend. And we can do this again, if you want. But . . . oh, hell, you're sweet and innocent and I want you to stay that way. I'd break you."

"Oh." Shou looked away, the high he'd just felt slowly dissolving in the cold water of reality. So, his crush was destined to remain just that . . . a crush. They were friends with benefits, nothing more. Of course, he should be glad that Ruki offered him his friendship, and his body, but . . .

"Hey," Ruki said. "Don't go sad on me, now. You're going to find someone to give you more. There's no way someone like you won't." He didn't want to say out lout that he'd noticed how Hiroto acted around his bandmate - which Shou might not have noticed. "I want you to remember what happened because it'll help you find the something missing you're looking for."

Shou looked baffled. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that the something missing is your confidence," he said. "When you go out there, you're not quite sure if you're attractive, or sexy. And it affects how you perform. I want you to remember how fucking sexy you were today. When you walk out on that stage, I want you to think about how you made me want you so much that I had to have you, right now. I want you to remember how it felt when you were performing for me just now. And I want you to take that feeling . . . and let it seep to the very bottom of your soul, so you'll radiate it outward. You're sexy. Now _feel_ it, and _act_ it."

He took Shou's hand and kissed it. "When you've got your lips on a microphone, remember when you had your lips on my cock. And when you're facing the audience . . . think about when you were face-down on the bed with my tongue up your gorgeous ass."

Shou lay there, quietly, thinking. That was what Ruki did, wasn't it? That was his secret . . . the secret he'd come here to learn. That was how he made everyone in his audience fall in love with him. Including, of course, Shou himself. He believed in his own hotness with everything he had, and transmitted it to the audience.

_I'm beautiful,_ he thought. _I'm beautiful and sexy enough that Ruki wanted me._ Suddenly, he was thinking of ways he could make himself more beautiful. The facial piercing was gone for good, that was for sure. Maybe he'd do something else with his ears instead - that would look cool, but not pull attention from his eyes. And those top teeth . . . well, he'd do something about that, down the line.

He raised his head and smiled at the other man. "Will you come to our next live?" he said. "That is, if you don't have anything of your own to do?"

"Yes," Ruki said. "You know I will."

"Because," Shou said, snuggling against him again, "I think you might be pleasantly surprised."

* * *  
Of course, Ruki never told Shou that the whole thing wasn't as spontaneous as it seemed. He'd gone to their last live, sized Shou up, and figured out why there was something not quite there with his performance. And he hatched the plot then and there to lure him over, seduce him and help him discover his full potential. (He'd guessed - correctly - that spontaneous sexual encounters weren't normally part of Shou's life, that he'd never made love outside the context of a full-blown relationship before.)

He made good on his promise to Shou that they could be friends with benefits, and they fooled around after that - but that faded when Shou and Hiroto started wearing matching star necklaces (thus fulfilling the other part of Ruki's promise - that Shou would find someone to give him more than just sex).

Of course, Shou did fulfill his potential - as seen, for the first time, in the Velvet PV - and then some. He never shared with his bandmates the secret behind his transformation, though. It would be his secret - especially since he was happy with Hiroto, and Ruki was secretly living with Aoi.

Shou wasn't the only one who found someone to give him more than just sex right in his own line of vision.


End file.
